The night passed. Snarfetta and Brunhilda slept like a couple of rocks. The Captain of the Whiskey Witch looked in upon them in the morning, and secretly thought them cute and charming in their scarves and sashes, sleeping loggily with arms over their heads. Snarfetta was muttering, "Keep your grubby hands off my bun. Yes, MY bun. Mine..."
The Captain, whose name was Jack B. Black, sported a wooly head of black hair, messy, and dark skin, and gloomy eyebrows that made him look strict. In fact when Snarfetta woke up and saw Cap'n J. B. Black standing there she was not predisposed to care if he was the Captain, and she was a little insulting. I am sorry to say she went so far as to stick her tongue out at him, roll over, and cover her head. So Cap'n Jack B. Black dragged her out of the cabin by her scruff, and Brunhilda followed warily, up to the deck.
Snarfetta was perhaps a bit stunned when she saw how far out they'd sailed. She had grown up beside the sea but had never been much of a sailor. She promptly barfed up the Green Beans from last night. Right on the Captain's toes. Serves him right, I say, but not the best political move at the moment, in front of all his men, who were suffocating trying not to laugh, and Captain J. Black knew it. He scowled, and threw a rag at the smallest man on the deck (not counting the girls). "Clean that up double quick, Scurv."
"If it ain't the wee wenches," said the First Mate, Geddy ThumpThump, after he recovered from trying so hard not to laugh he almost puked himself. He was still mad about taking Snarfetta's wooden heel in the shin. "Cap'n, they's lookin a little twiddly thumbed ter me." By which he was insinuating that the ladies didn't have enough to do.
"Right ye aaarre, Mate," the Bo'sun agreed. No one knew the boatswain's name because Bo'sun is a perfectly good name and he didn't need any other. "What say we makeum swab the deck."
The Captain surveyed the horizon and shrugged. He pretended not to be interested.
"Should we feedum first?" This brilliant question was posed by a gentleman named Fizzy Bottle.
"What fer?" Geddy ThumpThump was against feeding the children.
"We happen to be hungry," Snarfetta said.
"Yeah, very very hungry!" Brunhilda said.
"Blimey, they talks." "Even more reason not to feedum." "What if they faints?" "What if, so what, right Cap'n?" "Do little girls fart?" "Maybe we should throw them overboard and fergit feedin' AND swabbin'." "Aaaarrr, mayhap we should cookem in a stew, solve the hole parblem of feedin." The cacophony of commentary from the pirates was deafening. The girls, having to endure hearing their fate and farting talents discussed in this terrifying (and not very nice) way, both simultaneously had a Reaction. Snarfetta fainted, and Brunhilda howled. It had been a rough couple of days.
I'm going to admit something right now, something Captain Jack B. Black would not like me to admit on his behalf. But I will take that chance. Captain Jack B. Black liked children, even those who barf. Sad, I know; very bad form for a pirate. And, he could not stand to hear a child cry. But rather than show this in front of the crew, he said coldly, "And how, my dears, aarre we gonna make um work if we don't give um vittles? And let us have no talk of killin, they are not armed and...aaaarrrr, it would be unsporting. Not much fun for us."
Thus it was decided that the children should be fed. They were ushered into the galley where they were given plates heaped with piratey grub, not bad, and in any case the children were so hungry by this time there was no discussion of Sugar Buns and Green Beans.
The Captain, whose name was Jack B. Black, sported a wooly head of black hair, messy, and dark skin, and gloomy eyebrows that made him look strict. In fact when Snarfetta woke up and saw Cap'n J. B. Black standing there she was not predisposed to care if he was the Captain, and she was a little insulting. I am sorry to say she went so far as to stick her tongue out at him, roll over, and cover her head. So Cap'n Jack B. Black dragged her out of the cabin by her scruff, and Brunhilda followed warily, up to the deck.
Snarfetta was perhaps a bit stunned when she saw how far out they'd sailed. She had grown up beside the sea but had never been much of a sailor. She promptly barfed up the Green Beans from last night. Right on the Captain's toes. Serves him right, I say, but not the best political move at the moment, in front of all his men, who were suffocating trying not to laugh, and Captain J. Black knew it. He scowled, and threw a rag at the smallest man on the deck (not counting the girls). "Clean that up double quick, Scurv."
"If it ain't the wee wenches," said the First Mate, Geddy ThumpThump, after he recovered from trying so hard not to laugh he almost puked himself. He was still mad about taking Snarfetta's wooden heel in the shin. "Cap'n, they's lookin a little twiddly thumbed ter me." By which he was insinuating that the ladies didn't have enough to do.
"Right ye aaarre, Mate," the Bo'sun agreed. No one knew the boatswain's name because Bo'sun is a perfectly good name and he didn't need any other. "What say we makeum swab the deck."
The Captain surveyed the horizon and shrugged. He pretended not to be interested.
"Should we feedum first?" This brilliant question was posed by a gentleman named Fizzy Bottle.
"What fer?" Geddy ThumpThump was against feeding the children.
"We happen to be hungry," Snarfetta said.
"Yeah, very very hungry!" Brunhilda said.
"Blimey, they talks." "Even more reason not to feedum." "What if they faints?" "What if, so what, right Cap'n?" "Do little girls fart?" "Maybe we should throw them overboard and fergit feedin' AND swabbin'." "Aaaarrr, mayhap we should cookem in a stew, solve the hole parblem of feedin." The cacophony of commentary from the pirates was deafening. The girls, having to endure hearing their fate and farting talents discussed in this terrifying (and not very nice) way, both simultaneously had a Reaction. Snarfetta fainted, and Brunhilda howled. It had been a rough couple of days.
I'm going to admit something right now, something Captain Jack B. Black would not like me to admit on his behalf. But I will take that chance. Captain Jack B. Black liked children, even those who barf. Sad, I know; very bad form for a pirate. And, he could not stand to hear a child cry. But rather than show this in front of the crew, he said coldly, "And how, my dears, aarre we gonna make um work if we don't give um vittles? And let us have no talk of killin, they are not armed and...aaaarrrr, it would be unsporting. Not much fun for us."
Thus it was decided that the children should be fed. They were ushered into the galley where they were given plates heaped with piratey grub, not bad, and in any case the children were so hungry by this time there was no discussion of Sugar Buns and Green Beans.
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