Once Upon a Time, there was a great and mighty Queen. Her name was, unfortunately, Snarfetta. No matter how hard she tried to shake that name, she still ended up with it. It followed her everywhere. Even if she met a whole new group of people in a whole new place and told them her name was "Sophie", somehow they always found out that her name was Snarfetta, and called her that instead.
And so it happened one day when she was still very young, in fact she did not know she was a Queen yet, that she was kidnapped by pirates. Frankly, Snarfetta (so, alas, we shall have to call her) was a bit of a wanderer and didn't like being at home, where her father yelled and blustered far too much and she got tired of it and left. So one day she was wandering in the town, down by the docks, and the Sun dipped low into a pool of red. Snarfetta walked and walked, being particularly irritated with her father that day, and without knowing it strayed into an Undesirable Neighborhood, full of Hooligans and Creeps. Being hungry, she stopped at a stall and bought something quite bad for her, a sugary bun sort of thing, but she was ten and her mother wasn't there to make her have broccoli instead. The grubby little girl who sold her the bun looked at her with sad eyes, and in spite of her own troubles Snarfetta felt a little sorry for her.
Before she'd eaten two bites, however, someone grabbed her by the waist and ran off with her, holding her like a sack under his smelly arm, squished against his even smellier body. Initially she was so surprised that she didn't cry out, and she dropped her bun! When she finally realized that she was being Dragged Off Against Her Will, she started to kick and scream and holler words like she'd heard her father using under much less appropriate circumstances. The only people around to hear her were the other pirates, who only laughed, and the little girl who had sold her the bun. The little girl did not know what to do but followed, hiding behind a barrel while the pirates, laughing, tossed the now violently cursing Snarfetta back and forth a few times, and then on board their ship, the Whiskey Witch. The other little girl, whose name was Brunhilda, ran forward and protested.
"You can't do that!"
"Why if it ain't another wench for throwing in the holds! Blimey Curley, we could use two, thar's a lot o'work that needs doing."
"That one's near as dirty as the ship, mate."
"How about we dip her into the water?" This last brilliant suggestion was made by quite possibly the filthiest human either girl had ever seen. He had green teeth (the few he still possessed) and a tuft of hair that might have been light blonde under the grime. This same being grabbed Brunhilda by the ankles and lowered her. The poor girl was soon drenched in icy seawater from head to toe. And her bloomers showed! As you may be aware, saltwater can be very nice in its way, but at eight o'clock at night with guffawing pirates tipping you in head first, it can be a bit annoying. It goes in your nose and you come up sputtering and half drowned.
As you can see for yourselves the Pirates were not very nice sorts, not the kind of people you'd want as your nanny. However, they were all the girls had at the moment.
And so it happened one day when she was still very young, in fact she did not know she was a Queen yet, that she was kidnapped by pirates. Frankly, Snarfetta (so, alas, we shall have to call her) was a bit of a wanderer and didn't like being at home, where her father yelled and blustered far too much and she got tired of it and left. So one day she was wandering in the town, down by the docks, and the Sun dipped low into a pool of red. Snarfetta walked and walked, being particularly irritated with her father that day, and without knowing it strayed into an Undesirable Neighborhood, full of Hooligans and Creeps. Being hungry, she stopped at a stall and bought something quite bad for her, a sugary bun sort of thing, but she was ten and her mother wasn't there to make her have broccoli instead. The grubby little girl who sold her the bun looked at her with sad eyes, and in spite of her own troubles Snarfetta felt a little sorry for her.
Before she'd eaten two bites, however, someone grabbed her by the waist and ran off with her, holding her like a sack under his smelly arm, squished against his even smellier body. Initially she was so surprised that she didn't cry out, and she dropped her bun! When she finally realized that she was being Dragged Off Against Her Will, she started to kick and scream and holler words like she'd heard her father using under much less appropriate circumstances. The only people around to hear her were the other pirates, who only laughed, and the little girl who had sold her the bun. The little girl did not know what to do but followed, hiding behind a barrel while the pirates, laughing, tossed the now violently cursing Snarfetta back and forth a few times, and then on board their ship, the Whiskey Witch. The other little girl, whose name was Brunhilda, ran forward and protested.
"You can't do that!"
"Why if it ain't another wench for throwing in the holds! Blimey Curley, we could use two, thar's a lot o'work that needs doing."
"That one's near as dirty as the ship, mate."
"How about we dip her into the water?" This last brilliant suggestion was made by quite possibly the filthiest human either girl had ever seen. He had green teeth (the few he still possessed) and a tuft of hair that might have been light blonde under the grime. This same being grabbed Brunhilda by the ankles and lowered her. The poor girl was soon drenched in icy seawater from head to toe. And her bloomers showed! As you may be aware, saltwater can be very nice in its way, but at eight o'clock at night with guffawing pirates tipping you in head first, it can be a bit annoying. It goes in your nose and you come up sputtering and half drowned.As you can see for yourselves the Pirates were not very nice sorts, not the kind of people you'd want as your nanny. However, they were all the girls had at the moment.
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